Hominid Views

So far, three people have taken bullets for the Republican team. Donald H. Rumsfeld resigned today as the Secretary of Defense. Rep. Dennis Hastert has said he will not seek a position as House Minority Leader. And Britney announced that she is divorcing Kevin.

Given that political observers have been saying for the last 6 weeks that there was going to be a big blue wave this election, waiting until the election to announce these things can only be considered a blunder.

Had Hastert announced his resignation as House Speaker during the peak of the (ex-Rep. Mark) Foley scandal, the Republicans probably could have salvaged a few house seats. Instead, he let the scandal fester and boil. Seriously, there is little in this world as repugnant to Americans than to see a face like Hastert’s on the tube discussing sex, gay flirting, internet predation, etc. He should have cut and won.

Had Rumsfeld resigned as Secretary of Defense a week or two ago, it would have partially diffused the restlessness that Americans are feeling over Iraq. Moderate America would have muttered under its collective breath, “goddammit George, you should had done that years ago,” as they force a little leniency by pulling the lever marked “Republican.” A handful of Republican seats would have been salvaged.

Finally, had Bush-supporter Britney Spears announced her divorce weeks ago, the Republicans might have saved the House and the Senate. First of all, the announcement would have absorbed the media’s attention nearly full time for weeks, leaving people scrounging around for their political news from AM talk radio. Secondly, it would have partially sated American’s thirst for a new direction. I mean, something hasn’t been quite right with America ever since Britney’s unholy matrimony with K-Fed.

Ideally Britney would have dropped her bomb on the day after the Foley scandal broke. But I suppose K-Fed wasn’t yet embarassing Britney by getting booed off stage or being slammed to the mat in the wrestling ring.

Just lousy timing, I suppose.